Heart Hush
by MarciaRebafan
Summary: She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry and she wanted to throw herself at him, but she couldn’t do anything but stepping closer and closer, craving to feel him close to her, to smell his scent, to look into his eyes."


A/N: Sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is not my language. Hope you enjoy the story anyway!

_His head turned and my heart jumped_

_When I saw that it was him_

_After two long years the love of my life_

_And I just held my breath in_

_Standin' there smiling_

_With his eyes locked on mine_

_He couldn't hear me screamin' on the inside_

It happened in a second.

Their eyes met and she stopped breathing, her heart racing. The crowded, noisy restaurant faded away around her, Brian's voice suddenly sounding so far. She couldn't listen to what he was saying anymore, she heard him call her from a distance, but she didn't turn to him. She just stood there, staring at the man right across the room and the truth hit her violently; everything she had done to forget him, all the times she had told herself he was just a memory, it had been useless, because still she couldn't tear her eyes away from him, her heart screaming for her to walk to him.

But she stood motionless, even when she felt Brian's hand on her shoulder, she didn't move a muscle as she felt a lump forming in her throat.

It had been almost three years, she had gone away with the kids because she couldn't stand to look at him anymore, because it killed her inside to see him with another woman. She had run away, looking for a place where she could forget him and move on with her life. She was now living in California, she was about to get married again and she thought her love for him was long gone. But she was wrong.

"Reba?" Brian's voice sounded even farther when she saw the man across the room walk over to her. "Reba, are you alright, honey?"

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded weakly, "Yes, I'm alright…" She couldn't say more, her voice seemed to be stuck in her throat. A part of her wanted to run to him, hold him close and kiss him and tell him how much she missed him. The other part just wanted to take Brian's hand and run away, far from him and from her memories and from the life she had left behind her. She didn't do either, though, she just gave Brian an uncertain smile, her eyes not leaving the man in front of her, "Brian, can you take the table? I… I need to… I'll be right there…" She started to slowly walk towards him, her heart pounding in her chest, and when he smiled, she felt her soul scream inside of her.

_When I said, tear don't you fall_

_He's gone let him go_

_Eyes don't look back_

_Down that empty road_

_And lips you may move_

_But don't you say too much_

_Oh and please, please heart hush_

She held back her tears, she knew she was hurting herself and that was stupid, but she couldn't help it. She was attracted to him like to a magnet, she felt herself being pulled towards him by some strange force and she tried to control her breathing, but it was useless. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry and she wanted to throw herself at him, but she couldn't do anything but stepping closer and closer, craving to feel him close to her, to smell his scent, to look into his eyes. And still her heart wouldn't let her rest, it was bleeding, it was hurting, it was screaming for her to understand its need. It was urging her towards him and she just wanted to stop, but she couldn't.

_I said somethin' stupid_

_And reached out my hand_

_After makin' love and movin' earth_

_We were shakin' hands_

_A million sweet memories_

_Pin-balled through my brain_

_The want to hold him one more time_

_Ran through my veins_

"Reba… I haven't seen you in ages…" He greeted her and she felt her legs go weak.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, and tried to speak, but no sound came from her mouth. She reached out her hand with a faint smile, "Hi, Brock… Yeah, it's been quite some time…" He took her hand and she almost scoffed because of the irony of that gesture. They were together for twenty years, they had three children together and still the only thing they could do was shaking hands. There were many things to say, thoughts crowding her mind, making her head spin. Her lips wanted to speak but her voice wouldn't come out.

Brock smiled to her again. It had been almost three years since the last time he saw her, when they got divorced, and she hadn't changed at all. If possible she was even more beautiful. "So… how have you been?" He asked her, still holding her hand.

"I… I am good, thanks… what about you?" She nervously pulled her hand out of his and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Brock noticed her hair was longer now and she wasn't as thin as she was three years ago, which suited her very well, showing off every curve in her body.

"How are things with… Barbra Jean, right? The kids seldom talk about you at home…" She stated, avoiding his gaze. She knew he was staring at her, and she could almost read his thoughts, she knew he was noticing every little new thing in her, the way the dress hugged her body, the way her hair shone in the pale light of the restaurant. The way her eyes avoided his.

"We divorced."

Those two words pierced the air around her, burning in her mind and echoing in her ears. She knew she should've been at least a little sorry for him, but she wasn't. She was glad he was divorced, she was glad he was free. Her heart screamed more than ever, and she felt her body tremble as the urge of hold him rushed through her like electricity. She needed to be in his arms, to feel his body against hers, to feel his lips on hers once again.

"Oh… I'm sorry…" She finally managed to say, hoping that it would sound convincing enough. But Brock knew her better than this.

"No, you're not…" He replied with a chuckle. The tension between them seemed to fade a little and she smiled, totally taking his breath away. She was so beautiful, and his heart ached when he thought about the cheating, about all the pain he had caused to her…and about how his heart broke into pieces when he found that she was gone. He had gone too far with his stupid mid-life crisis and one day he woke up to find that she was gone, gone because of how much he had done her wrong. He hadn't seen her in years, he only saw his kids two or three times a month but they always said so little about her. He figured that was because they believed he was the one to blame for all the chaos their family was in. And they were right, he knew that, and he slapped himself mentally every day because of this.

"So… what are you doing here?" She asked, her voice firmer now. She was less nervous now, though she still tried to avoid his gaze, not trusting herself enough to look into his eyes.

"Oh, there is this conference in San Francisco, I'm here to attend it… though I'm going back to Houston in a couple of days…" He searched for her eyes, but she just wouldn't look at him. "How about you? Are you living in town now?"

She swallowed and nodded, "Yes, I live here…" She nervously glanced around her, looking for Brian, but he was still talking to a waiter on the other side of the crowded room. "Oh, the kids told me about Henry…" She smiled a little, thinking of her son's face when he told her about his little brother. "Looks like you have a beautiful child here… Jake is crazy about him…" She looked up for a moment, but her eyes went back down right before they could meet his eyes.

He smiled, "Yes, he is beautiful… I'm just so sorry that the kids won't get to see him as often now that Barbra Jean and I are divorced…" He paused, looking for her reaction, but she just didn't show any. "We always try to set it so that Henry will stay with me when the kids will stay with me as well, but that is not always possible…"

Reba nodded, "I see…" His voice sounded sad and she looked up at him for a second, fighting the urge to just pull him close when she saw the sadness in his eyes. He looked different from the man he was when she left. There wasn't a smug smile on his face, nor that mischievous sparkle in his eyes. He was sweeter and his smile was more tender, his voice was deeper and lower, and, she blushed a little at this thought, it was sexier.

"So…" He took a deep breath and forced himself to ask the question he dreaded the most, "…are you married now?"

Her heart screamed once again and her stomach clenched. There was a reason why he was asking her that question, she was sure about this. Once again tears threatened to fall and she forced them back as she tried to find her voice to answer his question.

_W__hen I said, tear don't you fall_

_He's gone let him go_

_Eyes don't look back_

_Down that empty road_

_And lips you may move_

_But don't you say too much_

_Oh and please, please heart hush_

Her lips moved, but she couldn't speak a word. Nervously she pulled a loose lock of red hair away from her face and Brock's heart skipped a beat when he saw something sparkle on her left hand.

His mouth went dry and he swallowed hard. So that was it, he never had a chance to win her back, she belonged to someone else now, someone new, who wouldn't hurt her like he did. "Oh… you…" He pointed to her hand, incapable to speak a real sentence. He just felt like a train had run over his heart, over those little pieces of his heart that still were in his chest.

_I kept lookin' at my __watch like I had somewhere to be_

_Then he stopped talkin' and kissed me tenderly_

She stared at her engagement ring, shining in the bright light, "Yes…" Her voice was barely more than a whisper and she angrily fought the urge to cry.

"Oh… and when…?" He still couldn't believe it, and yet it was so simple… he had lost his chance, he had screwed it up and now she was getting married to someone who really loved and cared for her, and he knew she deserved this. Then why he just couldn't let go?

"In June…" She whispered, her voice trembling again and her eyes still locked on her hand.

"Well… congratulations, then…" Brock's voice sounded hurt and he couldn't stop staring at her, jealousy taking over those little pieces of his heart, thinking that someone else would hold her each night, would make love to her and kiss her goodnight, someone else would see how beautiful she was when she woke up in the morning and he would be with her throughout her life, through the good and the bad times, which he hadn't been able to do.

"Thank you…" She felt tears well up in her eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall; she couldn't let them fall, she had to be strong. She had to fight her own feelings, she had to turn her back to him and walk over to the man who had given her that ring. She made a commitment to Brian and she was going to live up to what she promised. She wouldn't break his heart because she knew what heartache was like and he didn't deserve this. She would make the right choice for once. But when she looked up and their eyes met, the wall she built around her heart just crumbled and millions memories came back to her.

His eyes were locked on hers as he placed his hand on the back of her neck, pulling her close and pressing his lips softly on hers. He felt his heart start to heal when she kissed him back, helplessly and desperately, wrapping her arms around his neck.

She remembered it all, the feel of his lips, so soft and warm, his gentle touch, his muscular chest pressed against her body. It all felt so natural to her. It felt like home, but she knew it was wrong. She was engaged to someone else, he had done her wrong, so wrong, and still she couldn't get him out of her heart. She loved him and she hated him. She wanted to hold him and never let him go, and she wanted to run away from him and never come back. She wanted to kiss him and she wanted to hurt him. And she knew that she would never be happy and whole again without him, but she couldn't do this to Brian.

A stare pierced her back and she clung to Brock, her lips still pressed on his. She knew that Brian was looking at her, but she didn't know if she would be able to face him.

_And I said, tear don't you fall_

_He's gone let him go_

_Eyes don't look back_

_Down that empty road_

_And lips you may move_

_But don't you say too much_

_Oh and please, please heart hush_

_Oh and please heart hush_

"Brock…" She tried to pull out of his embrace, tears streaming down her face. It was useless to fight them, she knew they were going to fall anyway. "Brock, this is… so wrong… on so many levels…" She looked into his eyes through her tears, her lips trembling and her heart still screaming inside of her. She had to understand it, he was gone, he couldn't come back to her and she wouldn't come back to him. She was with Brian now and everything was just fine that way. But her heart wouldn't let her rest, it was killing her, it was tearing her apart with a pain almost too intense to bear. She saw the love into Brock's eyes and turned around for a second, looking at Brian.

Brock wrapped his arms around her waist as she watched Brian walk away without sparing her another look, "I'm sorry, Reba… for everything I've done, for all the pain I put you through, for making you leave… I'm sorry…"

She didn't answer. She couldn't. Her tears were choking her, she was trembling in his arms, half because she wanted to say she loved him and she wanted him back, half because she wanted to go after Brian and tell him she was sorry and that was not what it looked like. But it was what it looked like. And after all…had she ever been truly in love with Brian? She wouldn't know for sure, all she knew was that he was sweet and caring and he loved her…but Brock was the one she thought about when she was sad, Brock was the one she saw in her dreams, the one who she wanted in her bed, to hold her tight and make love to her, as wrong as it might be.

"Come home with me, Reba… take the kids and come with me… I'll never leave again… everything will be just fine…" He whispered into her ear, turning her in his arms to make her look at him.

She shook her head, tears still pouring down her face, "No, it won't be fine, Brock… it could never be fine, it's just too messed up…" She lifted her hand and looked at her engagement ring.

Brock felt a lump in his throat at her words. She was right, it was too messed up and he couldn't stand a chance. She would never be his again, he had really screwed it up and one kiss, as tender and sweet as it might be, wouldn't change what he'd done. He loosened his grip on her and looked down.

Reba sighed and kept on staring at her engagement ring. Brian had given her that ring, he wanted to make her his, but still he wouldn't fight for her. He just walked away. He didn't try to talk to her, he didn't try to understand what was going on. He just acted like he didn't care. Brock, on the other hand, had kissed her even when he knew she was engaged to someone else. She could tell herself that was only physical attraction, but she knew that was a lie. It was never just physical attraction with Brock, it was much more. It was a feeling stored within her heart, it was intense, it was strong, it was always there even when she thought it was lost forever.

She looked up at him and her heart ached again, bleeding and screaming, taking her breath away. "It's not going to be easy…"

"I know…"

"We need to be willing to make it work…"

"I am…" He smiled a little at her, "Are you?"

Their eyes met again and they were drawn closer together until their lips touched for another sweet, desperate kiss. That was all they needed to know, it was all the answers they were looking for.

And finally her heart was silent again.

THE END


End file.
